Three Desires of the Feminine Heart

Three desires essential to a woman's heart, which are not entirely different from my man's and yet they remain distinctly feminine. Not every woman wants a battle to fight, but every woman yearns to be fought for. Listen to the longing of a woman's heart: she wants to be more than noticed----she wants to be wanted. She wants to be pursued. "I just want to be a priority to someone," a friend and her 30s told me. And her childhood dreams of a knight in shining armor coming to rescue her are not girlish fantasies, they are the core of a feminine heart and the life she know she was made for.

Every woman also wants an adventure to share. One of my wife's favorite films is "The Man from Snowy River". She loves the scene where Jessica, the beautiful young heroine, is rescued by Jim, her hero, and together they ride through horseback through the Australian wilderness. Another female friend says, "I want to be cherished, pursued, fought for--yes. But also I want to be strong and a part of the adventure." So many men make the mistake of thinking that the woman is the adventure. But that relationship immediately goes downhill. A woman doesn't want to be the adventure; she wants to get caught up into something greater than herself. I know myself and I know I'm not the adventure. So when a man makes me the point, I grow board immediately. I know that story. Take me into one I don't know."

And finally, every woman wants to have a beauty to unveil. Not to conjure, but to unveil. Most women feel the pressure to be beautiful from very young, but that is not what I speak of. There is also a deep desire to simply and truly be the beauty, and be delighted in. Most little girls remember playing dress up, or weeding day, or "twirling skirts", those flowing dresses that were perfect for spinning around in. She'll put her pretty dress on, come into the living room and twirl. What she longs for is to capture her daddy's delight. My wife remembers standing on top of the coffee table as a girl of five or six, singing her heart out. "Do you see me?" ask the heart of every girl. "And are you captivated by what you see?" she wants to know.

The world kills a woman's heart when it tells her to be tough, efficient, and independent. Sadly, Christianity has missed her heart as well. Walk into most churches in America, have a look around, and ask this question: What is a Christian woman? Again, don't listen to what is said, look at what you find there. There is no doubt about it. You'd have to admit a Christian woman is tired. All we've offered the femininine souls is pressure to "be a good servant." No one is fighting for her heart; there is no grand adventure to be swept up in; and every woman doubts very much that she has any beauty to unveil.

John Eldredge
book "Wild at Heart"

Thanks for reading! I feel we can each learn from this blog post!
​-Chris